From Kitten To Cat
Hoorah! FurCats is a month old! It’s been a different kind of fun and a different kind of busy. From Kitten, to (kinda) Cat.
A friend of mine has just got two kittens; Buffy and Spike. I obviously spent my day off, indulging on (more) kitten-joy and paid them a visit. She asked how the shop was going and I told her it was great. I couldn’t help mentioning the fact that occasionally it’s quiet and I’m not always busy (like today – I haven’t been busy at all), but that wasn’t a bad thing, as I was happy and enjoying myself.
And then that got me thinking. Was I under-selling my joy about the shop? Was it a difference that I’d fully accepted? Was I at peace with the new life I’d created? Was I, in fact, happy or was I just trying to be? I had, at least, willed this to happen.
It’s strange. I’ve always been a bit rubbish at accepting my own joy – but FurCats is something that I am genuinely proud of. I look around and think – yep, this is what I have done – I have made this happen; in my head first, then on paper (my initial hand drawn ‘drafts’ of a logo are ‘totes hilaire’ together with the plan of the shop floor – equally so. I might share at some point). But, sitting in the shop that was, this time last year, a mere thought, is quite exciting as a concept on its own. In general, the process of a thought; abstract, hypothetical, that then becomes tangible and concrete, is a powerful one.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to watch a play that my sister’s friend, Alex Keelan, had written (The Loves of Others, at 53Two, Manchester). It was brilliant (I cried, obviously). And it struck me that the process of her getting her play on stage; a thought, ideas on paper, draft after draft, negotiating premises, actors, dress rehearsals, tears, tantrums etc. etc. – and me getting my shop; a thought, ideas on paper, learning process, negotiating premises, sellers, searching for products, doing up the shop, tears, tantrums, etc. etc. – was more-or-less the same. Thoughts are so powerful – once we allow ourselves to (properly) think (and explore and live) we can pretty much be (whatever we want).
I remember reading a factoid about the boxer, Sugar Ray Robinson, at the school I taught at. It was on the inside door to the Admin corridor, which was strictly for staff only (we had toilets there and the previous Head’s office was there too). Robinson had dreamt he’d killed his opponent, Jimmy Doyle, the night before a match. So he refused to fight him, but convinced by a Catholic priest that his fears were unfounded – he was persuaded to go ahead with the fight. Doyle died from his injuries the following day. His thoughts happened. Thinking makes it so. Breathe enough life into them; indulge them enough; and they become real. They grow.
I guess, we sometimes accept less than what we want. And other times, we struggle to accept what we wanted; thinking perhaps, that we’re undeserving. But, I’m going to let my thoughts guide this and see where it takes me. Wednesday tomorrow. It’s going to be a good day…